CHRYSALIS
So... I woke up
that morning to discover my fingers were doing a fairly believable impression
of little stuffed breakfast sausages. They were puffy and swollen. I tried to flex
them, but they would bend only about halfway. They felt as though someone had
injected them with Styrofoam while I slept.
The fact was that
it was most likely water retention, a nasty little trick that my body pulls on
me now and then. I eat healthy; I do my "eight minutes of torture" ab
workout daily. I make sure that when I have a boyfriend over (which isn't often
lately) that I take every possible precaution to protect myself--and this is
how my body pays me back. By collecting every drop of water I drink (plus, I
suspect, some which I never drank in the first place--perhaps absorbed from the
air) until my Kate Winslet body is bloated like a dead, beached whale. (No, I
am not exaggerating! I am a gross, disgusting object of revulsion around
my period. I should know: I have to live with this body.)
Anyway... I put
on a pair of stretch-pants, a pullover, and a pair of slip-ons so I wouldn't
have to attempt to work buttons or shoelaces with my fatty fingers, and I went
to work. I do database programming (SQL, mainly; not because it's the best, but
because that's what the market demands) so I have the luxury of being able to
hide in my office for ten to twelve hours with virtually no human contact.
Unfortunately, my project leader came to my office at 9:00 and informed me that
I had to give a presentation of our current project to one of the upper-level
committees responsible for our funding, at 1:00. So instead of knocking out
some productive code, I spent the morning assembling overhead transparencies, flowcharts,
and graphs. I had only about twenty minutes for lunch, which was fine, because
I intended to eat and drink as little as possible to try to flush my body out.
During the presentation, I tried to keep my hands hidden behind my laptop's
display as much a possible. Afterward, I had to stand and make business small
talk with several of the attendees, and by the time I had made the long walk
back to my office, my feet were also swollen and hurting. I pried my shoes off
and let the two water balloons attached to the ends of my legs cool.
That night, I
sprawled on the couch and watched television. I drank lots of water. (For some
reason, drinking lots of water is supposed to help reduce water retention.
Seems backwards to me, but I was willing to try most anything at that point.) I
went to bed early, my fat little sausage fingers tucked beneath my pillow, and
my fat little water balloon feet tucked beneath the comforter folded at the end
of my bed.
I had strange
dreams. I dreamt of being in wildflower fields where the blossoms were the size
of my head. I saw myself moving among the wildflowers, and I seemed taller and
thinner, like seeing my image stretched in a funhouse mirror. There was another
thing that I thought was different or unusual about myself, but as I woke the
details of my dream faded from the peripheral vision of my mind. I woke with
something much more serious to think about.
I woke gasping
for air and the blood throbbing in my head. The neck of the long t-shirt that I
always wore to bed was cutting into my throat. My thick, swollen, bulbous neck.
I struggled to pull it off. My arms were also stiff with bloat. This was no
longer a case of simple water retention. I felt the first twinge of panic in my
stomach. What was wrong with me?
I struggled out
of bed and tottered to the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror. I had the
round, heavy head of an infant. Every part of my body, the skin was stretched
tight, seemingly ready to split. Oddly, other than suddenly looking like a sumo
wrestler, I felt fine. In fact, I was hungry. But despite how I felt, there was
no way I was going to be seen in public in this condition. Besides, I could
barely walk.
I tried to call
in sick, but my thick tongue formed only indistinguishable sounds. So I ended up
e-mailing a note to work. That in itself took some time, because my fingers
were too fat to operate the keyboard. I was forced to tap my message out one
letter at a time with the eraser end of a pencil. Despite my vow not to be seen
in public, I knew that I had to go to a doctor. Although I felt fine now, this
could be the onset of some terrible, potentially fatal disease. I thought of
the characters in Stephen King's novel "The Stand", whose necks
became swollen like inner tubes right before they died, and I sat and cried a
little at my computer out of the terror of the unknown. I would definitely go
to the doctor--but in a little while. I was exhausted from hauling my newfound
weight around the apartment, and I was beginning to ache all over, a soreness
down in my bones. I frequently felt this way when I was coming down with the
flu, and I thought again of "The Stand" and its flu-like symptoms.
I shook the
terrible thought out of my head. It would do no good to draw imagined
correlations between my problem and fictional characters. What would do
some good would be to take something for my aches and rest before I visited the
hospital. So I took a couple of Advil and crawled (more like flopped) back into
bed for a short nap.
Only I didn't
wake up again that day.
It felt like I
had been asleep for only a couple of hours. I was groggy, and my eyes felt
stuck shut. I tried to stretch my arms and legs, but it was difficult to move,
like trying to swim through molasses. I began to panic. I tried to inhale, but
was unable to pull anything into my lungs. Blind, unable to move or breathe, I
wanted to thrash, struggle, but the movement wouldn't happen. Every muscle in
my body tensed. My back arched. There was a crack, more felt than heard, like
ice cracking on a lake, There was a cold sensation of the molasses flowing
away, and I was able to arch my back further, until I sensed that I was more or
less in a kneeling position with my head down. I struggled to sit upright.
Finally, I felt cool air on my face and I could to breathe. I still could not
see, but I could move my arms. I wiped at my eyes and discovered a sticky,
syrupy substance coating my face. I opened my eyes a little, but the light was
painful, and I could only make out blurred shapes. I tried to get out of bed,
to get to the bathroom and into the shower, but I stumbled and fell off the bed
onto the floor. I lay there a while, too weak to move. I think I fell asleep
again, because when I opened my eyes next, I could see fairly clearly. And to
be honest, what I saw frightened me more than when I was paralyzed, blind, and
suffocating.
A puddle of ooze,
purplish-clear, spread across the floor. Its surface shimmered oily rainbows. I
lay in the middle of that puddle. On the bed, curling and half-dried, a whitish
husk remained where I had napped. It had a horrifyingly familiar shape.
Crawling on my
hands and knees, I approached the bed and knelt beside the thing. It was a
grossly distorted mockery of a human figure. It lay on its stomach, arms and
legs outstretched, the head facedown upon the pillow. A great split ran from
the base of the neck to the tailbone, curling along the drying edges. With a
hand trembling from both weakness
and fright, I delicately lifted the head and turned it toward me. The brittle
shell cracked and tore, and the head broke away from the body as I twisted it.
But before I dropped it back onto the pillow in surprise and revulsion, I
glimpsed enough of it to recognize that, through its ballooned, flattened
visage, the face was my own.
I crawled to the
bathroom and turned on the shower, hot. I slithered into the tub like an otter
and sat on the porcelain and let the steamy water rinse the purplish slime from
my body. For the first time since I awoke, I noticed my appearance. I was no
longer bloated. In fact, I appeared to be thinner than before. What's more, my
arms and legs looked longer. I peered closely at my feet. They were longer,
narrower, and flatter. My toes were freakishly long, almost as long as my
fingers. I looked at my hands. They, too, were longer and narrower, and the
fingers extended by half their length. I'd seen fingers like these before, in
an old silent vampire movie, "Nosferatu." Oh, god, had I become a
vampire?
I pulled myself
from the bathtub and took a few fragile steps to the sink. The mirror was
steamed over. I wiped away the condensation with my hand and saw what I had
become. I had become the image of myself from my dream, stretched and narrowed.
From my height in relation to the sink, I guessed that I was a foot and a half
taller. I had not been very tall before (5'4"), but now I was nearly seven
feet tall! My head resembled the popular depiction of alien visitors--teardrop
shaped with large almond eyes (still blue, thank god, not black) and a tiny,
pursed mouth. My neck was abnormally long and thin. I pulled my lips back and
snarled at myself. No vampire fangs, at least. And I had not lost my long,
chestnut-colored hair, my one feature I had been proud of.
This part may be
hard to understand (okay, no more so than my story so far, but maybe unusual
given the circumstances). Along with my physical appearance, there seemed to
have come a shift in my attitude as well. Instead of feeling frightened upon
seeing myself in the mirror, I actually felt ok with what I had become. I felt
more confident. I was more concerned about finding clothes to fit my new body
than going out in public looking like an extraterrestrial female basketball
player. Maybe it was that I had always felt insecure about my body. I was
short, slightly heavy (baby-fat heavy, not junk-food-fat heavy. What I
described as "Kate Winslet"--round cheeked, but still within the
boundaries of trim), and not overly attractive. It was like I had gone to sleep
as Janeane Garafalo and I woken up as Uma Thurman. It was like a narcotic which
suppressed the fact that I had metamorphosized into something just the other
side of human.
For now, I was
just thankful to have my freedom of movement back. I was feeling stronger by
the minute, and I began to think about something to eat. I felt like I hadn't
eaten in days. But first, what to do about the mess in the bedroom?
I found a couple
of old towels I didn't care about so much and mopped up the slime puddle on the
floor. The shell (my "chrysalis" I suppose) was another matter. I
couldn't exactly stuff it in the garbage can. I squeezed its foot between my
thumb and finger. It crumbled into a thousand flakes. Okay, then. I pulled the
bedsheet from its corners and bundled the chrysalis up. Then I pounded that
sucker into dust. I carried the wad of bedsheet into the kitchen and poured the
pulverized shell down the garbage disposal. I grinned. Easiest body disposal
ever.
Next, it was back
to the bedroom to find some clothes. There were very few items that I would fit
into now. I pulled out a red dress. Once, it had hung down almost to my ankles.
Now it was more like a miniskirt. I went to the full-length mirror and held it
up to myself. Not bad. It stopped just above the knee, and for once a
sleeveless dress with straps would be practical.
The whole time I
stood there, I had had an itch on my back something fierce, right between my
shoulder blades where I couldn't quite reach. Finally, I reached over my
shoulder with the clothes hanger and nailed the spot. My back twinged, a small
muscle spasm, and--pop!-- a pair of wings unfurled behind me! I think I
shrieked (just a little). I clapped both hands over my open mouth. If I made
any noise, my brain did not process it.
Stepping
backwards slowly, the backs of my calves found the edge of the bed and sat the
rest of me down on it. The phrases repeating themselves over and over in my
brain began "Holy mother of Christ" and spiraled downward into a
creative stream of expletives. I felt dizzy. I wasn't sure if I wanted to deal
with this by fainting or throwing up. Evidently, I did both.
I came to again
to find myself lying on my side on the bed, and a new mess to clean up on the
floor. I stood up and tentatively stepped toward the mirror. They (the wings--I
forced myself to use the word) were still there. Not a hallucination. Not an
optical illusion. Honest to-god wings spiking out of my back, baby. Now, these
weren't angel wings, or bird wings, or what the word "wings" usually
brings to mind. These were more like... Well, they were bug wings. They were
shaped somewhat like damselfly wings (swept-back, not straight out the sides
like a dragonfly's), except with a boomerang curve which caused the tops to
stick out above my shoulders and away from my head. And they were colorful.
Bright red and orange and yellow. Wings on fire.
I reached behind
me and gently touched one. I had expected to feel brittle foil, as a bug's
wing. Instead, they were leathery to the touch. Strong. Powerful. I tried to
flap them. I thought about flapping motions, but nothing happened. This wasn't
as easy as I had figured. Maybe I was making too much conscious effort. I went
deep down, focused on my individual back muscles, particularly the ones I
couldn't really "feel".
My wings moved,
ever so slightly.
I went back, clawed
to rediscover whatever I had done to create the movement. They rustled, almost
imperceptibly. Back, over that spot in my mind again. There? Yes, a faint dip
and return. I settled on that spot, became familiar with its feel, learned to
return to it at will. Concentrating, I brought the wings up and down. A real
flap. The breeze from it rustled my curtains and unsettled my hair. I giggled.
I laughed. I was a bird!
Well, not quite.
There was still the small matter of flying. Surely these were more than
ornamental. My mind went back to that spot. It took all of my concentration at
first, but I stayed there, and I swept my wings back and forth, again and
again, sending whirlwinds around my small bedroom. Papers flew. The bed sheets
billowed and sailed off the bed. And ever so gradually I felt gravity
disappear. My feet began to lose their sense of the carpet. And then my toes
were kissing the floor goodbye, and I was in the air. Really in the air. Really
flying. I was! I was a bird!
Then my head hit
the ceiling and I fell to the floor like a wet washrag.
----------
Knowing that I
was being foolish and probably making a mistake, I returned to work. The wings
folded away neatly and were not even noticeable beneath my red dress (the same
one I had tried on in my bedroom--at the moment the only item that fit me. I'd
have to shop for a new wardrobe soon.) Of course, because of the wings I wasn't
able to wear a bra. But my new stretched and thinned physique made that
somewhat of a non-issue, if you catch my drift.
The stares and
comments were to be expected. Most of my coworkers didn't recognize me right
off. I explained patiently and repeatedly that I was dealing with a
non-specific medical condition, and that my gaunt look was an unfortunate side
effect of the treatment. No one asked how the treatment had increased my height
so dramatically, and I did not volunteer an explanation for that bit.
I was delighted
to find that my extra-long fivers enabled me to type extra-fast. One of the
problems I've always had is that my fingers cannot type as fast as I can think.
My brain has a tendency to visualize code in whole chunks. I know what it is
that the program needs to do at that point, and I see it in my head as whole,
modular pieces. However, my fingers are not nearly quick enough to keep up, and
I inevitably lose my train of thought and have to scroll through the entire
thing again in my head. Now I was flying through the lines, entering the
scripts almost as quickly as my brain could conceive them.
In the evenings,
I practiced flying. Only around my apartment at first, a foot or so off the
ground and at low speed. I did this until I mastered maneuvering, starts,
stops, landings. Then I drove a few miles outside of town to a small,
unmonitored state park usually empty of campers. Teenagers occasionally hung
out there, but not in large enough numbers to be a problem.
There was a large
empty field adjacent to the campground, and a small river that cut through the
hills and created a nicely unobstructed run. I wanted the privacy for two
reasons. First and most obvious, the world probably isn't ready for me. At
best, I would gather crowds who would follow me home, and I would never know
privacy again. At worst, some xenophobic farmer or hunter would shoot me.
Second (and I know that this is a terribly girlie thought in light of the
circumstances), at that point I still didn't have any clothes that permitted
the wings to protrude, so I had to fly topless. Somehow I was still more
self-conscious about people seeing my boobs than my wings. Years of mental
conditioning, I guess.
I got to be quite
good. I could take off almost vertically, and could skim the treetops and swoop
down the river run with the best and fastest of the birds. I flew above the
cloudtops, saw the stars in a sky unpolluted by light or haze. I saw the city,
an island of light in the darkness, the dim glows of its smaller companion
towns perched on the cusp of the horizon. I breathed sharper, purer air than I
had ever experienced. It flushed the buildup of pollutants from my lungs and
gave me more energy and enthusiasm for life. For the first time, existing up
there on the wild currents, I felt the expression of an individual, unbound by
convention, unrestrained.
Then it all went
to hell.
I usually parked
my little red Corolla on the grass just off the road, where a grove of trees
hid it from view of the main road into the park. I returned that night from a
few hours of flying and descended gently on the passenger side of my car. Not
until I was almost entirely around the car did I notice the two young men
attempting to hotwire it. One was slumped in the drivers seat, fumbling beneath
the steering column. His partner leaned in the open door, whispering advice.
Obviously everything they knew about hot-wiring had come from 1960s outlaw
movies, because the helpful one was saying things like, "Look for
something yellow and black, man. Its always yellow and black." I know
very, very little about cars, but even I knew that they would have better luck cracking
the steering column with a screwdriver and bypassing the ignition. They
probably would also have accomplished the task quickly enough to be miles away
before I surprised them, which in hindsight might have been preferable. (Oh,
did I mention that my clothes were in the back seat? And that my keys were with
my clothes, had these morons thought to look?)
Initially, I was
more startled and frightened then they were. I came around the car, suddenly
noticed them, and let out a little shriek. They both went bolt upright, as
though shot through by an electrical current. Helper boy whirled and saw me.
The kid in the car didn't bother to look. He bolted from the car, probably
intended to make a run for the trees. He slammed into his partner, who,
transfixed, had forgotten to run. They quickly untangled themselves and lay on
the ground, staring. Still stunned, I stared back, and the three of us created
a comical motionless vignette for several moments.
Then helper boy
started to cry. I mean really blubbering. "Oh, Jesus Christ, what is
that?" His blubbering reduced him to barely audible mewling. Please don't
hurt me, please don't hurt me."
His partner
grabbed him up by the collar. "Shut up and run, Dave!"
They began to
scramble away, mostly on all fours. I felt I should stop them; I couldn't allow
my secret to be exposed. Dave's partner had a pretty good lead, but Dave still
struggled to find his footing. I reached out to grab him by the collar, but
missed and raked his cheek with my fingernails. I didn't intend to hurt the
poor guy. Dave shrieked like the thing that gives banshees nightmares. He
instantly found his feet and covered the remaining ground to the trees before I
realized that he had slipped my grasp.
Well, I'd been
seen. I ought to get dressed and get out of here. Leaning into the car to grab
my clothes, I lingered to inspect the interior and see if they'd taken
anything. Everything appeared intact. Suddenly, I was flooded in light. I
looked up to see the headlights of a pickup truck rapidly approaching from the
direction the two punks had run in. They were charging me, attempting to run me
down! I had very little time to react. I let straight up and let the truck
charge past. I half-expected them to turn and come back, but they appeared to
be heading for the main road instead.
There have been
many additional subtle effects from my transformation. One of those is much
sharper eyesight. As the pickup sped away, I spotted an item among the
scattered garbage in the bed. A purse. My purse! The purse I thought had
been tucked beneath the passenger seat, well out of view. The worst thing that
I could have had stolen. A little cash was inside, but not a lot. The credit
cards could be cancelled with a simple phone call. But my identification was
inside. My name. My address. And they had seen me. I had to retrieve it.
The truck was
accelerating fast, nearing the park entrance. I raced after them. They barreled
through the main gate and turned onto the highway. My wings tore at the wind.
Ever so gradually, I crept up on them. The old truck seemed to have met its
maximum speed, and it was all I could do to match it. Over the pickup bed
now... I dropped low. Almost within reach...
Dave's partner
most have looked in his rear-view and seen me. He looked back at me over his shoulder
and yelled something. Dave turned, too, and screamed. I kept one eye on my
purse--which constantly remained just a few inches beyond reach--and one eye on
the cab. I was worried about what was in the cab with the two boys. I don't
know my firearms, but I am familiar with the sight of hunting trucks and I knew
that what was mounted in the rear window was either a deer rifle or a pheasant
shotgun. And sure enough, Dave was trying to unsecure it from its mounts. The
moment had met its crisis. Time to get desperate.
I brought myself
down hard into a crash-landing in the back of their pickup. The wind got
knocked out of me, but there was no time to recover. Beer cans, some tow chain,
a spare tire, random loose tools, all oil-covered, assaulted me. I fumbled
among the jostling cargo of crap and got my purse in hand. I looked up. Dave
looked back at me down the hollows of his shotgun. I dove, twisting, out of the
bed and felt the hot wind of buckshot skim by. I flapped frantically, tried to
recover my flight, failed. I tumbled into the ditch. I was lucky that the
county had not mowed in some time, and my rough fall was cushioned somewhat by
long prairie grass, cattails, and ditch weed.
I lay in the
grass for quite some time, panting, and listening for the truck to return. I
heard nothing but crickets and distant tree frogs.
I could breath
normally again, and I had convinced myself that they weren't coming back, I got
to my feet and checked myself out. All of my parts were intact. I checked my
wings; nothing broken, but the muscles deep within the center of my back
screamed. Obviously this little adventure was going to stay with me for some
time.
As I slowly
limped through the air back to my car, I could not have known the full extent
to which this night would remain with me.
----------
I decided that it
would be best to avoid the park for a while. I stayed home the next day and
made like a couch potato. I watched a lot of TV and ate a lot of microwave popcorn.
That night, part of the late local news was about me.
The newscaster--a
young buck not long out of journalism school with tall, blow-dried hair and big
teeth--introduced a piece about two guys who claimed to have encountered a
giant birdlike creature in the Glen River Valley. The piece was all stock
footage of the park and voiceover. The two men wanted to remain anonymous, but
I immediately knew that they were my friends Dave and Dave's buddy. They said
that they were attacked from above while hunting nightcrawlers. A shot of one
man's cheek that did not reveal the rest of his face showed the scratches that
I had accidentally given Dave, accompanied by their assertion that the creature
had attempted to cut off his head with its "talons." Oh, I almost
choked on my popcorn when I heard that! They said that the creature chased
their pickup "at speeds well over 100 mph" and tried to smash through
the rear window. As it did, they shot it in self-defense and it fell into the
ditch. They went back the next morning but were unable to find the body.
And that was it.
Thirty seconds of pure lies about me. Fortunately, nobody knew that it was
about me, and the two most likely would be disregarded as hillbilly drunks.
Still, it was now more important than ever that I not go flying for a while.
The back roads would be filled with trigger-happy hunters eager to bag the Glen
Valley Monster. I hoped that not many people had been watching. I mean, who
really stays up to catch the tail end of the late news?
The next day I
found out.
I try to tell
myself that what happened next was a matter of fate, an unavoidable conjunction
of stars and planets. It was really just plain bad luck. If the country had
been engrossed in a celebrity trial or a Presidential scandal, the local news
story would have died then and there. But as my luck would have it, the next
day was a very slow news day. And on very slow news days, CNN goes fishing for
local-interest stories. And they found me.
By the time CNN
finished rewriting and further exaggerating the story, the Glen Valley Monster
had become a "wave" of sightings by "dozens" of
townspeople. It was seen peering into people's windows at night and was blamed
for the disappearance of small pets. Dave and his buddy became two of many
people whose cars had been chased in the Glen Valley area.
Our little town
was suddenly on the map. Within days, out-of-state license plates were as
common as dandelions. Most of these were sightseers, the curious who hoped to
see (or shoot) a monster. The reporters came mostly in rental Fords or
satellite-linked news vans. (There were only two of the latter. A story of this
nature isn't usually worth the expense of satellite bandwidth.)
I decided that
doing my normal routine was the best way to not attract attention to myself. So
I went to work, where I kept to myself, as usual. (One nice side effect was
that there were fewer than usual suspicious, appalled, sideways looks from the
other girls. They were preoccupied with monster talk. A common opinion was "I've
lived here my whole life and I've never seen anything unusual. I think they saw
a big hawk.") As a precaution, I took to wearing a long coat, sunglasses,
and a big floppy hat when in public. I looked a little bit like Ingrid Bergman
in "Casablanca," albeit stretched in a funhouse mirror.
Now, unlike most
people, I don't mind waiting in line at the grocery store checkout. It's one of
the few times when I already have found everything that I need, there is nobody
talking to me or asking me to make a decision, and I can stand quietly and
observe what's going on around me. The checkout line is a few moments of Zen
for me. I was there in line, wearing my long coat and floppy hat, when I saw an
artist's depiction of me for the first time. The attention-grabbing headline
splayed across the front page of The Weekly World News read "HAWKGIRL
TERROR RAMPAGE". Taking up the rest of the page was an artist's conception
of a young couple cowering outside of their parked car. The girl was
frantically trying to open the car door, her dress torn. The boy was waving a
tire iron at a menacing winged beast hovering just above them. It was obviously
female, with gigantic breasts to rival Wonder Woman's, its body covered with
feathers. Its hands were outstretched toward the couple with claw-tipped
fingers. Huge red eyes glowed above an open, shrieking peak. I looked really
cool.
By this time, my
apprehension and irritation was gradually becoming replaced by amusement. The
Hawkgirl stories (or Butterfly Girl, or simply the Glen Valley Monster) had
become so outlandish and unrealistic that I had stopped worrying about anyone
identifying them with meek little me. I had still not flown since the night
Dave and his friend broke into my car, but I no longer felt the need to hide
from society. I dropped the tabloid into my shopping cart for some light
entertainment.
Once back at my
apartment, I pulled the shades, stripped naked, and unfurled my wings. It felt
good to stretch them after keeping them bunched up beneath my clothes for so long.
I retrieved the tabloid from one of the plastic grocery bags and perused it
while flapping in place about a foot off the carpet.
Blah-blah-blah...rampage
of terror...blah-blah...blamed on the disappearance of many local
pets...blah-blah...mutilated livestock (that was new)...blah-blah...unexplained
lights in the sky (that was inevitable...blah-blah-blah...reminiscent of the
Mothman terror of the late '60s... Huh?
I re-read the
paragraph. "These sightings are eerily reminiscent of the Mothman terror
of the late '60s. Residents of Point Pleasant, WY, were hounded in 1966 and
1967 by a red-eyed, winged creature that peered in their windows and chased
their vehicles. Mothman made his last appearance immediately prior to the
collapse of Silver Bridge, which went down with a loss of 47 lives. Residents
of this community wonder what fate Hawkgirl holds in store for them."
Mothman. Could it
be...that there are others?
I have a computer
that sits on a small desk in the corner of my living room. I rarely ever use
it. After spending nine to ten hours a day front of a monitor and keyboard
watching my newly compiled code generate newly discovered errors, I want almost
nothing to do with computers once I am home. As a result, I don't have the most
up-to-date hardware or software, but it’s enough to get me onto the Internet. I
turned the computer on and went to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich. I
returned with my sandwich just as Windows warbled out its annoying little
startup sound. Soon I was dialed into my ISP and watching web pages load at
28.8kps. (As I said, I don't have much use for a computer at home, so I don't
plan to upgrade unless I absolutely have to. So I will tell you right now that
it will do no good to inform me of the wonders of ISDN or DSL or Pentiums or
Athlons, or Powermacs for that matter. I am a lowtech girl, but I am not an
uninformed girl, so let’s move on, shall we?)
A search on
"Mothman" " brought back several hits. All but a few contained
only a brief mention of Mothman while devoting pages of text and images to more
popular beasts like Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster. One site, however, was
devoted entirely to Mothman. There were many "then and now" pictures
of Point Pleasant, including the infamous Silver Bridge, and sketches of Mothman
based on eyewitness descriptions. I quite frankly thought that most of them
resembled an owl, but the huge, glowing red eyes and its height in relation to
nearby objects were certainly not owlish.
The site also gave a complete, detailed account of those two years. Mothman was
generally described as grey, seven or eight feet tall, with no head and
glowing, saucer-sized red eyes in its chest. This last part I thought was
especially unbelievable, but the web site's author didn't think so.
"Ancient
lore is loaded with stories of people whose faces grow out of their chests. The
Libyans believed in a tribe that consisted of monsters whose eyes were in their
breasts. Sir John Mandeville wrote of the land of the Anthropophagi, an
"Iyle where dwell men that have no heads and theyr eyes are in theyr
shoulders and theyr mouth is on theyr breaste.' Shakespeare makes mention of
the Anthropophagi in Othello, Act 1, scene 3: 'The Anthropophagi and men
whose heads Do grow beneath their shoulders.' Even the ancient Maya had
traditions of men whose faces were in their breasts. So headless beasts with
eyes in their torsos are not unprecedented."
I ran my
fingertips down the length of my elongated neck. Wasn't it possible that a
different person could have been affected oppositely? Maybe this Mothman was a
person like me, but whose transformation had given them more owl-like features,
such as a neck that caused their head to appear to blend with their torso.
The story said
that Mothman flew without flapping its wings (not likely, I thought) and that
it often took off straight up (yes, I could do that). It was last seen beneath
the Silver Bridge the day before its collapse, and has not been seen since,
leading many people to believe that Mothman was trying to warn the town of the
impending disaster. Or maybe the unlucky bastard had roosted in the girders and
got caught in the collapse, I thought. There was much speculation as to what
Mothman may have been. An alien from a UFO, a large owl, a sandhill crane, even
the product of mass hysteria. Myself, I had a good idea of what Mothman might
have been, and I was willing to put money down that my theory was the right
one.
The web site had
a section called "Other Winged People". It seems that bird-people
have been witnessed for centuries. The 20th-Century sightings alone were a
remarkable list. Kazakhstan, 1936. Chehalis, Washington, 1948. Pelotas, Brazil,
1951. Kyoto, Japan, 1952. Houston, Texas, 1953. Falls City, Nebraska, 1956. Da
Nang, Vietnam, 1969. Now I could be added to that list.
The nearest,
most-recently documented sightings were the ones from Point Pleasant, WV. It
was unlikely that the original Mothman was still alive almost forty years
later, but maybe I could uncover some other evidence there. I wasn't sure of
what I was looking for, other than knowledge that there were others like me,
that I wasn't a freak of nature (not an isolated freak, anyway). Most of all, I
was frightened. Despite the courage and confidence that had come with my
metamorphosis, I still was unsure of what would happen to me. Would I change
further and become totally avian? Did I have as-yet undiscovered health
problems? Would I die soon? I needed to find others like me who could answer my
questions, who could tell me what would happen in the years to come. And I
needed to be around people who would accept me without fear and who I did not
feel the need to keep secrets from. And my best and only place to begin that
search was West Virginia.
----------
In the weeks
following my transformation, I had bought almost an entire new wardrobe to fit
my suddenly svelte frame and altered most of the shirts and dresses to allow my
wings to project through. I packed all of them into suitcases and crammed them
into the trunk of my Corolla. I had briefly considered flying to West Virginia
(and I don't mean by airplane). However, I am a girl of many needs, and
hairspray, soft pillows, and clean silverware are among them. I had no
intention of roosting in trees at night and living off bugs and berries. So I
loaded up my car and set off the next morning.
I stopped at one
of the local stop-and-robs to fill the Corolla's tank and grab some road
munchies. The sole driveway to this place had always been a pain to get in and
out of. Half a block down was a stoplight at a major intersection. Traffic was
often backed up to or beyond the convenience store's exit, so sometimes you had
to wait quite a while to get out. To make matters worse, the stoplight had
separate left-turn signals, and traffic in one direction would often get a
green light before the other. If your view was obstructed, you never knew
whether traffic was coming toward you or not. My route out of town that morning
meant making a left turn out of the stop-and-rob, and my view was blocked by a
semi to my right waiting in line at the light. The road to my left was clear,
and no cars appeared to be coming through from the right, so I chanced it and
zipped my little red car out onto the road. Too late I saw the blue-and-white
pickup as I cleared the rear of the semi. I swerved, but the pickup caught my
rear bumper and pushed me into a spin into the oncoming lane. From the corner
of my eye, I saw my rear bumper, gleaming in the morning sun, spinning like a
propeller in the opposite direction. I tensed in anticipation of a collision
from the oncoming lane, but I got lucky. The road was still clear from that
way. My car hit the curb backwards, bumped over it and across the sidewalk, and
rear-ended the convenience store's dumpster.
I had to sit for
a moment to be sure that the wild ride was over. I was trembling, and my legs
felt as if all the blood had been sucked out of them. Everything was really
bright. Oh; my sunglasses had been knocked off. My big hat was also in my lap.
I tentatively turned my head. No pain. That was good. And somehow my poor
little car was still running. For some reasons I thought, "I need to go
get my bumper."
The pickup had
turned into the convenience store and driven up next to me. The driver was out
and coming over to my driver's door.
"Hey, lady,
are you okay?"
I turned and
looked out the side window at him. We both froze for a couple of seconds, that
moment when you recognize someone, but can't think of where you've met before.
Then it hit me. It was Dave.
"You!"
he cried
I was totally
paralyzed. I couldn't even think of what to do as he pulled open the driver's
door. My mind raced, trying to remember the very simple thing I should do to
get out of this. But I could only stare as he grabbed my arm and tried to drag
me out of the car. Then my reflexes got tired of waiting for me to make a
decision and acted. I screamed.
The air filled
with an inhuman sound. I did not even think that I was making it at first. It
sounded like a screech owl fighting a cat while being broadcast through malfunctioning
amplifiers. Startled, Dave dropped my arm and stepped back. It also snapped my
conscious mind to attention and I began barking myself orders: "Foot. Gas.
Go!"
I stomped on the
gas pedal and shot across the sidewalk and over the curb and turned toward the
light, narrowly missing yet another accident. At the intersection, I turned
right again so I wouldn't have to wait for the light, and then I didn't stop
until I was out of town. No blue pickup appeared in my rearview mirror. I
probably scared Dave worse than he'd scared me. If the look on his face was any
indication, I had probably forced him to go home and change shorts. I began to
chuckle to myself. Soon I was laughing out loud, and I laughed for miles until
all of my anxiety bled away in a massive giggle-fit.
----------
Point Pleasant
sits on the Ohio River just a loud holler from Ohio. It lies in a peculiar,
narrow strip of the country where grassy plains and cornfields commingle with
scattered hilly forests, and the forested hills are contemplating becoming
mountains but haven't yet worked up the enthusiasm. The town itself looks like
most other midwestern towns. Other than a few store windows hawking Mothman
t-shirts and souvenirs, you would never guess that a major paranormal event had
occurred here. The long-lost Silver Bridge has been replaced by a more modern
structure, but the town is otherwise unchanged from the 1960s. Following a map
printed from the web site, I drove through the area where most of the sightings
happened, the old military storage site the locals call the TNT.
Some of the
buildings Mothman was seen in and around have been torn down, and only grassy
fields remain. Even the old storage bunkers which once featured so prominently
in the landscape have overgrown with grass. If not for the old pictures from
the web site, I would have taken them for nothing more than oddly symmetrical
hills. The roads themselves out there are two-lane, narrow and deteriorating.
Some are little more than gravel paths. The terrain is long stretches of grassy
fields punctuated sporadically by clusters of trees. It was easy to imagine the
sense of desolation one must feel when out there alone at night. I decided to
head back to town and find a place to stay. Sunset was only a couple of hours
away, and I didn't want to find out how desolate the TNT was after dark.
I found a decent,
quiet motel along highway 62 on the eastern edge of town. The young,
dark-haired desk girl couldn't hide her curiosity over my appearance. I ignored
her as I filled out the registration card. This was something I was beginning
to get used to.
Finally, the girl
said, "You play basketball?"
In fact, I had
played basketball in high school. I hadn't been very good at it. I reckoned
that I could probably show those stuck-up girls whom I'd had to play with a
thing or two now. I smiled at the thought.
"Yeah. A
long time ago."
"I'm on our
high school team, the Wildcats. I've played the last two years, but I don't
think I'll go out for it next year. I mean, I play alright, but there's a lot
more politics than I thought there would be. You don't get to just play and
enjoy yourself, you know what I mean?"
I nodded. "I
think you should do what you enjoy. If life gives you a particular talent, and
you enjoy it, you should run with it and do what you can with it."
"That makes
a lot of sense. What do you enjoy doing?"
I thought about
it a second. "Flying."
Sleep came in
short bursts that night. Probably I had just worked myself up, but something
about the stillness of the dark seemed unnatural. Even with the air conditioner
thrumming, the air felt dank and heavy. An aura of dread hangs over Point
Pleasant at night. It's so tangible you can almost hear it like the buzz of a
cheap fluorescent light.
At a little
before 3:00AM, I was lying awake, watching the rare passing car cast its
headlights across the ceiling. Without warning, a shadow eclipsed the slit of
light shining between the curtains. At first I thought that someone was just
passing by, but the shadow remained. Someone was standing outside my window. I
tilted my head, up and looked to the curtains. The dim light from the parking
lot security lamp revealed the uncertain outlines of a huge, hulking shape just
outside my window. And near the top of the window, unblinking, a glowing red
eye watched me. I froze. Our gazes locked. After what seemed like minutes but
was probably only seconds, the shape moved on down the walkway.
I threw the
blankets aside and jumped out of bed. I pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt
and ran out the door. At the end of the second-floor walkway, two red orbs
shone in my direction from out of the shadows. Then a large, shapeless shadow
separated from the rest of the blackness. In a flash it extended shadow wings
and leaped out over the railing and soared like a kite into the night sky.
"You son of
a bitch," I thought. "All this time I've been hunting you, you've
been stalking me."
Silently, my own
wings unfurled and I flung myself over the sail like a platform diver. In
seconds I was high above the motel, circling and searching for my quarry.
There. Caught for an instant in a streetlight. Following the highway out of
town. Toward the TNT area. I gave chase.
I have no doubt
now that the stories of Mothman flying in excess of 100mph are true. Even at
top speed, as fast as I'd flown the night I chased Dave's truck, I could not
hope to catch him. In fact, I got the impression that he was slowing up every
once in a while, allowing me to remain on his tail. Why not? After all, this
was really his chase, not mine.
It wasn't long
before I found myself over the TNT area. Beneath me were the overgrown storage
bunkers I'd seen earlier. From above, they were little more than gooseflesh on
the land. I looked up again. Dammit. I'd lost him. I'd let my eyes off of him
for one second and he had disappeared into the darkness. Dammit, dammit.
Powerful hands
grabbed my arms from behind. I shrieked, the same screech owl cry as before,
but this time my assailant was unshaken, I struggled and squirmed and beat my
wings, but the stony grip never faltered. It pushed me down, down toward the
bunkers. I closed my eyes as the ground rose to smash me, but at the last
second we slowed and my feet gently touched the grass. The hands released me. I
whirled, ready to fight.
The black shadow
stood silent. It was taller than I, a good seven feet or more. Shadow wings
folded in and melded with its inky blackness. The two glowing red orbs watched
me, unblinking. Guess it was up to me to break the ice.
"So. You're really
the Mothman, huh?"
The shadow said
nothing.
"You do
talk, right?" If I had assumed wrong, and Mothman really was a wild
creature and not human, I could be in big trouble here.
"Lewis,"
it said.
"Hag your
Pardon?"
"My name is
Lewis. And I'm about as close to a moth as you are to a hawk." The words
sighed out of him, like the sound of sand whispering through the neck of an
hourglass.
"Lewis.
Okay. Aileen." I extended my hand. A tendril of the black drifted out to
meet it and briefly brushed my palm. It felt rough, bristly.
"You need my
help," Lewis said. It was not a question.
"Yes, I need
to know what you can tell me...about...me."
The glow of
headlights appeared in the distance.
"I can tell
you what you need to know," the sand whispered, "but we should go
somewhere else. It's always risky for me to come back to this town. People here
pay more attention to their peripheral vision than most."
"We can sit
in my motel room and talk."
We flew back to
the motel, taking care to remain high and away from lights. We slipped in much
the way we had left. Moving about unnoticed was easier for Lewis. He became
part of the night itself, so much so that I sometimes lost track of him myself,
even while looking straight at him.
He situated one
of the small straightback chairs in a corner facing the door and sat,
unblinking. I switched on one of the small bedside lamps. In the pale yellow
motel room light, he suddenly looked much less ominous. He was old. Even
through the downy, dark grey feathers that covered him from head to toe his
great age was obvious. His coat of feathers was so fine that it appeared to be
fur from a distance. As I had suspected, his head and neck blended into his
shoulders, creating a headless appearance in the dark. His face, though almost
invisible behind the pinfeathers, was very human. He had ears, but they did not
protrude and looked like small holes on either side of his head. The eyes...the
eyes bothered me. I found it hard to look directly into them. In some respects,
they were like every other human's, with grey irises and the sad, watery
appearance that comes with age. But like mine they had become startlingly
disproportionate to the rest of his face. At least three inches in diameter,
they seemed to stare right through my flesh and bone directly at my soul.
Eyelids were absent, enhancing their circular, saucer appearance. Every few
seconds, a single, transparent membrane flicked across the eyeball. It reminded
me of a cat's eyes. From deep within, his eyes reflected back the slightest
light, making it very eerie and uncomfortable to look at his face with those
two shining taillights staring back.
I sat
cross-legged on the bed and tried to be polite and look directly at him.
"Forty years
ago," he began, "I was a lot like you. Or how you used to be. I was a
regular guy. I had a wife. I had a kid. I worked in a mill up the river from
here, near Moundsville. One morning in early...1960, I woke up not feeling so
good. All stiff; my joints were achy and swollen. I stayed home for the first
time in four years. I told my wife to go on ahead to her job in town and to
drop off our son at her sister's. I just felt really tired and achy and stiff.
Nothing serious. At least, at the time I didn't think it was serious. I don't
know how it was for you, but sometime in the late afternoon it was like my skin
split open, and I wriggled out of my own body. I felt like a fly coming out of
a maggot. I got to a mirror, and this is what I found.
"I was out
of my mind, I didn't know what to do. I certainly couldn't let my wife and kid
find me like this. I took the shotgun from the closet and headed into the
woods, figuring to get far enough from the house and then kill myself. I would
have, too, if I had remembered to bring shells." He chuckled, a very ethereal
and satanic-sounding laugh that I knew was just another unfortunate side effect
of his condition. Still, it gave me chills.
"The flying
thing I discovered almost by accident. Then it was like a drug, you know? Being
up there on the wind, on your own, in complete control... Pretty soon it made
me forget that I wanted to kill myself.
"I worked my
way down the river, staying in abandoned farm buildings. Once in a while I'd be
spotted, then I'd have to move on again. I settled into the Chief Cornstalk Hunting
Area, and I thought that I could stay there indefinitely. But it was more
dangerous than I thought--lots of shotgun-toting folks wandering around. And of
course I was eventually seen. After wandering around the state a little more, I
came across the old army storage fields out there--the TNT. They were perfect.
Most people don't know this, but that entire area is honeycombed with tunnels.
I could move around the whole place without being seen.
"What
brought it all down is partly natural events, but mostly my own fault. I got
lonely. I missed my family an awful lot. I missed living like a normal person.
I got into a habit of going to the outskirts of town and looking in people's
windows, to remember what it had been like. What it was like to come home at
night and have supper with my family, or to play with my kid, or even to sit
and watch TV and drink beer. Of course I got caught once in a while.
"The other
part was that the TNT became a very popular place for teenagers to park and
make out. Or get drunk. Every night there were a few more cars to watch out
for. Inevitably, I slipped up now and then and someone would see me. It didn't
take long for stories to hit the paper. I just didn't feel like running
anymore. So I stayed and tried to keep my head down and ride it out. I suppose
you know the rest of the story from here."
I nodded.
"After the
Silver Bridge went down, some people tried to blame me for it, as if I had the
power to do something like that. A lot of the things I heard and read about me
just weren't true. People tend to take a lot of unconnected things and put them
together in their mind. Someone's dog runs off around the same time that
someone else sees Mothman, and the next thing you know I'm stealing cats and
dogs and mutilating cattle. It would've been sort of funny if folks hadn't been
trying to take my head off with guns.
"What
happened to me next is a lot like what's happening to you now, and it's
happened more than a few times. A fellow named Silas visited me. It didn't
happen out of accident, like some other folks have met me. He knew exactly
where to find me. He knew what I would be doing, and when and where. He knew
because he was like me. Not exactly like me; he looked perfectly normal, with a
goatee and a fedora hat and a long, black coat. But beneath that black coat he
had wings. Wings just like an angel.
"Silas told
me that there were others like me and him. A lot of others. Many had gathered
in a secluded place where they could live everyday lives without fear of those
who didn't understand us. He asked if I wanted to join them. I would've been
nuts to say no. So I went with him...and Mothman went away, too."
"So," I
said, "you've came to take me away, too."
The shadow
figure--Lewis (it was still hard to think of him in such ordinary
terms)--nodded.
"So when I
was looking for you, you already knew about me."
Lewis nodded
again.
"How did you
know? I mean, it was in the news, but how did you know it was me
specifically?"
"I didn’t know
that it was you. Not until just before you left. I had been in the area since
the news broke, searching mostly at night. I couldn't identify you until I
heard you scream. In a way, it's lucky that that happened. Once on the road you
would have been lost to me. Until you caused a sensation somewhere else,
anyway. I never expected you to come here. Most people have never heard of me
or don't remember the old stories. Probably even fewer would have put
two-and-two together and thought to come to Point Pleasant."
"Actually,
I'd never heard of you until one of the tabloids mentioned the Mothman
sightings."
"Oh, yes.
The tabloids never tire of me or Batboy. He's a hoax, by the way."
"I thought
so much."
"Anyway, you
still haven't answered my question."
"But... I
have so many questions of my own."
"If you
choose to come with me, there will be all the time in the world for questions.
If you choose not to, then you have until sunrise to interrogate me."
I sighed,
"It just seems so impossible. To just...leave."
"What is
there to stay for? Do you have a wonderful job? A nice house you can't bear to
part with? Loved ones? If you have pets we can manage a way to bring them. It's
been done before."
"Um...no. No
on all of those counts. I guess my answer is yes. But... Can I still ask you a
few more questions?"
"A few. Then
you should probably put out the 'Do not disturb' sign and get some sleep. We
have a long trip ahead."
"Okay. What
I want to know most is..." I had to hold back tears even when forming the
words in my mind. "Why did this happen to me?"
Lewis shrugged.
That's all he did, shrug. I wanted to belt him.
"What the
hell kind of answer is that?" I cried. "I became a...a monster,
and when I want to know why, the best you can do is shrug?"
"Nobody knows
why," he said gently. "It's like cancer. I know that's not the
prettiest analogy, but no one knows why it picks some people and not others.
All I know or care about is that I'm in a position to help those people come to
terms with it and show them haw to lead a better life with their new gift. And
I have come to consider it s gift. The flying alone is glorious. But I have yet
to meet anyone who has arrived at our little corner of the world and not become
less selfish. Every single person who lives in our community is better to live
with and be friends with than any one of the citizens of the outside world. I
stopped asking why a long time ago, because I learned that it doesn't
matter."
Okay, I was
properly in my place. Already I was beginning to see ways in which I had been
selfish toward this ordeal. When stories about me hit the paper, and the
reporters and the monster-hunters had cane to town, I forgot about how pleased
I was to no longer be frumpy and plain. In my mind I stopped comparing myself
to Uma Thurman, and began comparing myself with Bigfoot and the werewolf. Now I
sat across from a once loving father and husband and blue-collar worker who
could no longer show his face in public. He was suddenly forced to live in the
woods and eat god-knows-what to survive. And he had survived for over forty
years this way. I was going on two months and had almost cracked. Worse, I
still had my cozy apartment, and I could still walk into a store and buy
Doritos without a second glance from anyone. I suddenly felt very, very small.
"I wasn't
trying to make you feel bad," Lewis said. "The reality is, it doesn't
matter so much why this has happened to you, as what are you going to do with
it now?"
I nodded. My huge
eyes were welling up with hugs tears.
"I have to
know one more thing," I said. "Please don't take this the wrong way.
Do we all eventually become...fully...feathered?"
He smiled (I
think). "No. Everyone stays pretty much the way they come out. My change
was more...extreme than most. Silas told me that there had only been a few who
had changed so radically. Lucky me."
Behind me, the
first light of morning was beginning to peek between the curtains and cast a
bright sliver on the wall.
"I suggest
we get some sleep now. We can talk more on the trip. If I may ask a favor...
Could I use your bed? It's been ages since I've slept on a comfortable
mattress."
"Be my
guest," I said. I couldn't sleep anyway.
----------
Lewis wanted us
to leave my car at the motel and fly the entire way. I told him that was ridiculous.
We could take my car as far as we could and save some time and energy. I
reminded him that it was no problem for me to go into places and buy gas and
groceries. He protested that he couldn't be seen riding in a car. I told him no
problem; he could wear my trenchcoat and big hat and no one would know the
difference. Reluctantly, he agreed. But he made me go out to Wal-Mart and buy a
small tent and a shovel. I didn't know what he had in mind for the shovel, but
I knew butter than to ask.
We got on the
road at sunset. Despite the disguise, Lewis felt more comfortable traveling at
night. I suppose I would too if I had eyes that I could never close. He
navigated us using the small atlas that I kept in the glove compartment. It
took us a little while to get him clear on the concept. The man hadn't driven a
car in over forty years, let alone read a modern road map, I had to explain
that the colored double lines were interstates, and those were preferable
because we could go faster. And we almost got into a fight when he insisted on
taking a road that I just couldn't find. Finally I told him to give me the map
and show me what he was talking about.
"Lewis,
that's a river."
"But it's
much shorter than what we're on now."
"Lewis, this
is a car, not a boat. We can't travel 'as the crow flies' like you're
used to."
"Oh, right.
Sorry, I forgot."
I had to pretend
that I was checking my blind spot so he wouldn't see me roll my eyes.
For three days he
steered me southwest. We found small, unmonitored campgrounds to stay at. I
took advantage of the time to get some of my other questions answered. He told
me that there were twenty-one others at the colony. Most he had gone out and
brought back himself, though in recent years his increasing age had meant
sending others on especially long trips. Lewis was one of only a few left who
originally came to the colony with Silas.
"However,"
Lewis said, "Silas himself was only one in a long line of gatherers. How
far back the colony goes is anyone's guess."
"How long do
you think it's been around?"
"Since
always."
Life in the
colony, he told me, was improvised, but not uncivilized. There were permanent
buildings to live in, and windmills and solar panels provided adequate
electricity. A couple of recent arrivals had used their skills to fashion a
satellite dish from scrap, so there was television.
"Which has
bean a great help in locating others around the world. It used to be we'd have
two or three people scattered across the globe for up to a year at a time. Now
we only go out when we have to."
I asked him how
the colony had gone for so long without being discovered by outsiders.
"I used to
ask Silas that question. All he'd say was 'When the eye of fate is looking the
other way, don't ask why and don't make a lot of noise.'"
The one question
he refused to answer no matter how I asked was where the colony was. He
wouldn't even tell me its name. He said that if I were to be caught before we
got there then I would have no information to reveal. The whole "spy game"
attitude made me a little uncomfortable, but I understood their--our--need for
secrecy.
Mostly, Lewis
wanted to talk about current events, The colony's recent acquisition of
television had given him a window into the rest of society which he had been without
for almost four decades. He was fascinated with computers and cell phones. A
former mill worker, he wanted to talk about modern machinery, particularly car
engines. I'm afraid I wasn't of much help to him there. There seemed to be only
one topic of modern society that interested him more than technology:
"Friends."
"Do you
think Chandler's gay? I think he's gay."
"I told you
I don't watch that show. I hate it. All I know about it is what I overhear my
coworkers discussing the next day. But I'm pretty sure Chandler's not gay,
because he's married now. I think you're watching reruns on the wrong
channel."
"You'll have to fill me in on everything I've
missed."
"How about
Tech TV? You ever watch Tech TV? I can tell you how far a USB cable can go before
it achieves signal degradation."
On the third day,
I discovered what the shovel was for. Somewhere in the desert between Guerra
and Rio Grande City he had me take the car off-road into the scrubland of
mesquite shrubs and prickly-pear cacti. There he instructed me to retrieve
anything from the car that I wanted to keep, then to bury the car.
"I can't
bury my car! I love this car."
"You can't
bring it with you, either. You won't have any need of it after today. Not far
ahead is the Mexico border. This is as far as we can go on the ground without
attracting attention. From here, we travel by air."
"But that
shovel I bought is just a little camping shovel. The handle is only a foot
long. How am I supposed to dig a car-sized hole with that?"
"It's only sand.
You can do it."
"I don't
suppose you're going to help?"
He shrugged. (I
hated that.) "I've gotten too old for this sort of stuff. Besides, I've
already flown a few thousand miles to get you. So consider it, uh, sweat
equity."
"Sweat
equity, my ass," I muttered as I got out to retrieve the shovel from the
trunk. In addition to the shovel, I also pulled out my suitcase and the
towrope. Then I found a relatively flat and open spot and began to dig.
The south-Texas
soil, by the way, is not all sand, despite what you've seen in the
movies. It is sandy, yes, but a good deal of it is red clay. If it weren't for
the arid climate, the ground would have been too hard for me to dig a hole deep
enough to use as a toilet. As it was, after six hours of shoveling, I had
excavated a hole as wide and deep enough to bury the Corolla up to maybe the
door handles. I clawed my way out of the hole and threw the shovel down at
Lewis' feet.
"That's
it," I said. "I'm through digging. That'll just have to be good
enough."
"It'll
do," Lewis conceded.
With the car in
neutral, we pushed my beloved little Corolla into its grave. We covered the
exposed passenger compartment with the excavated dirt and planted some shrubs
and tumbleweeds around for camouflage. Then I got some much-needed rest while
we waited for nightfall.
It's true what
they say about the desert getting cold at night. As soon as the sun disappears,
the night chill seeps into your sweat-soaked clothes more quickly than you can
believe. I never imagined that there could be a wind-chill factor without the
slightest hint of a breeze. But when you've been toiling beneath the Texas sun
all day, your sweaty clothes might as well be waterlogged clothes in subzero
temperatures. Fortunately, I had had the foresight to modify a sweatshirt that
I could fly in, so I was able to remain at least comfortable. Lewis had a good
coat of insulation and never seemed bothered by either heat or cold.
From high above,
the Mexican border is a ribbon of light stretching to the horizon in either
direction. Here and there we could see the bright floodlights of INS patrol
vehicles crawling along the ribbon. The breached parts of the border fence were
obvious Morse code dots. Oddly, we didn't see any patrols near those spots.
Then we were past the border and the terrain below became truly black. Although
Monterey was a good two- or three-hundred miles away, I could still see its
yellow glow from the other side of the horizon. Monterey slowly receded on our
right as we continued south.
I think that
Lewis had us follow the coastline for the most part, but it was too black for
me to tell land from water. Lewis seemed to know the way well, and he even had
an abandoned building chosen for us to spend the day in. He asked how I was
doing after my first long-distance flight.
"Okay.
Tired, but not exhausted."
"Are your
back muscles sore?"
"No, but I
don't know how they'll be in a few hours,"
He nodded, and
seemed to be mulling something over.
"We'll wait
and see at nightfall which route to take the rest of the way. We're a little
ways outside of Tampico. We can take a short cut across the Gulf of Campeche,
if you're able. But it's a full night of flying over open water. Nowhere to
land if you get tired and can't continue."
I contemplated my
suitcase, which I had been carrying lashed around my waist with the towrope. It
hadn't felt heavy, but I was also on an adrenaline rush from digging a car
grave for half a day. I told him we'd better plan on taking the scenic route.
Sure enough, by
nightfall my back was screaming. I wasn't able to fly even a short distance,
and we had to spend an extra day outside Tampico. Lewis was sweet and went out
and found us food. He brought back corn still in the husk, beans, and strange
but delicious fruit that I didn't recognize. All of this I assumed he had
raided from farmer's fields.
"I should
probably warn you," he said. "There isn't a good source of meat
available at the colony. You'll have to go mostly vegetarian. There's fish once
in a while. I think you'll be surprised, though, at how many new things you'll
find that you'll like."
"Hey, I'm
open to try new things, I'm not picky."
I felt much
better by the next evening. Regardless, we gave in to caution and flew the rest
of the way over land. The next long night of travel took us into Honduras. The
last leg, he said, was long and much of it would be over water. But the air
currents would be in our favor and carry us almost effortlessly.
He was right. The
air high up was thin and biting, but the wind whipped us along amazingly fast.
The moon was bright and huge and nearly full that night, and its light revealed
a vast expanse of rippling whitecaps on the sea below. I found out later that
we had spent much of that night over the Caribbean. I wished then that we had
been able to see it in the daytime. I've since had the pleasure of flying over
it several times by day. It's as clear and blue as the sky, and the reefs are
colorful gemstones gleaming just beneath the surface.
As dawn broke
over the curve of the sea, we came to the colony. Upon first sight, it was
nothing more than an inhospitable cone of sheer rock rising straight up out of
the ocean. But as we circled it became clear that its first impression was
deceiving. Nestled neatly within the rocky cone was a lush landscape of forests
and fields. In the distance, giant birds soared over the treetops. Then I
realized that the "birds" were people. People like me. Lewis flew in
close so he could speak to me.
"This is our
island," he said. "Eons ago, it was a volcano. The lava hardened
within it when it went dormant. Over time, the sea eroded away the outer shell,
and the retreating magma caused the inner core to collapse. It's almost
impossible to land here by boat, and too narrow to fly a plane into."
"Does this place
have a name?"
"Its
traditional name is Anthropophagus. But that's a mouthful, so most of us call
it The Rock. It's technically part of the Los Roques chain of islands."
"The
Rocks," I said, pulling on what little of my Spanish instruction remained.
We swooped down
into a clearing within the forest and landed. Scattered around the clearing,
disguised from above by sod, were several slug-shaped buildings. These, I found
out, were really the overturned hulls of ships, many of them Spanish galleons.
They've been here for as long as anyone can remember, and no one knows how they
were brought here in the first place. Everyone presumed that these were the
remains of ships that foundered on the reefs, dismantled and brought over the
stone walls one plank at a time. Inside, they are divided into apartments.
There was one waiting for me. It's small, but I need only a place to sleep. The
rest of the island is like my playground.
Soon I was able
to meet all of the others. I was amazed at the variety of ways in which
everyone had transformed. Some, like Richard (whom I've since become rather,
uh, close with) had the angel wings Lewis had described Silas as having. My
good friend Veronica is a black, Portuguese-speaking woman with leathery bat
wings. Dominic has fine silver hair instead of feathers, which gleams in the
sunlight. All of these people once had average lives. They held traditional
jobs and some had families. Them one day their lives changed, and through the
efforts of people like Lewis, they were able to come to this place and be among
those who didn't think that they were monsters or freaks.
We all have our
own talents and skills that we bring to the colony. I used my computer skills
to write a program for one of our three laptops to monitor the Internet for
references to giant winged creatures. We've tracked down a few new members that
way. Lewis has gotten too old to make the trip himself, so others go now. I've
gone out twice myself. It's a good feeling, to pull someone from a seemingly
hopeless situation and give them a new life.
Life here is
pretty relaxed and unscheduled once the chores of daily survival are finished.
(Most of the work consists of building maintenance and tending the crops over
in the valley.) One of my favorite ways to spend my free time is taking long
walks in the wildflower fields along the western rim of the crater. Some of the
flowers come up to my chest and have blossoms the size of my head. And Lewis
was right; I enjoy a lot of the new foods around here. These flowers are delicious.
--Ó2002, W.A. Seaver